domenica 16 marzo 2008

Ciampino VS Stansted

Recently I got involved in yet one again cheap flights to the UK. I took my time to notice some slight differences when it comes to airport security.

I wasn't really found of Ciapino's security staff. The security is made up by 4 maybe 5 operating security stations comprehensive of a metal detector and the usual x-ray machine for luggages.

First you stand in a cue, then the cue gets bigger and at the end someone starts jumping it entirely (you are still in italy afterall). At this very moment someone at the security gate speeds up the process by not inspecting people. By mere coincidence one time I was allowed in with a multitool in my hand luggage... and I wasn't very happy when I realized it.

No-fucking-one is checking for compliance with hand luggage restrictions. According to ryanair you can carry up to 10Kg in a 55cm x40cm x20cm bag. I've seen people carring on the plane normal sized luggages and by their looks you can tell that they were over 20Kg. This adds later to the discomfort of having your luggage mistreted while one or more of these idiots is triing to fit his out of specs stuff in the same hand luggage compartment.

Then you are in the lagher. I have seen worse actually at the Charles le Roy airport or at Frankfurt-Hahn but it is still a hard experience. Then there is another police post. Not that they care to really check your name against anything. It is just two guys againts 3 gates full of passengers, and by the way goodbye shengen! Flights to the UK are more strickly checked than other destinations.

Then at the gate the final surprise. If you happen to have a priority boarding be advised that in ciampino priority it is intended as a "option". I mean people with normal boarding ticket are striving to steal your priority previledge and the airport staff is doing absolutely nothing about it. Same reasoning goes with the luggage scandal. Hand luggages are not checked and people are abusing the sistem as said above.

Thank god on the plane the ryanair staff prevents italian villagers to seat the near wing exits (Security reasons: most of them can't utter a word in clean italian let figure out how to understand proper english). So it's kinda of like having a reserved seat for those few who are literated.

Stansted Airport
At stansted the music is different. As soon as you get in you are welcomed by a huge all with check in gates. Those travelling only with hand luggage are directed to a pre-security area where they are instructed to check the luggage, weight it, and prepare items for furter inspection at the security gate. I took the liberty of shooting some picture:
Here is where the italian villagers realize that they are screwed for good, On the fligh back. They are required to go to the Ryanair desk, buy for the Check-In and then for the luggage. If it is exceeding 15Kg then pay for any additional Kg... I don't hide a little bit of sadistic satisfaction when I see these scenes. If they keep believing that they still are in Banana Republic of Italy they are brought to reality at the security post.

The security post is where things get scary at Stansted. The luggage is actually opened. You are questioned on your item, a extra check for explosives is perfomed on any electronic device. Liquids not in compliance with the guidelines are thrown away and.. you get a extra interview with the security staff. Then it comes the shoe detector and some body inspection for the most lucky.

After being checked you are released into a big shopping mall. The prices are reasonable and if you are not buying into luxury items they are mostly inline with London (That means outragiously expensive anyway). Be careful where you stuff food for the flight. Since your luggage is hardly being checked you can safely put anything inside. This way you will avoid paying overinflated prices while onboard the ryanair plane. I suggest you buy at "Simply Food" where you can find some very attractive flawored bottles of water and fruit.

At the Gate another happy scene. The Villagers had to do the normal checkin procedure because of their oversized hand luggages (everyone is complaining now) and now they are put into the "I don't have any priority" line. The staff enforces the policy, I am the first!

Unfortunately on the plane one stewart was a tad too young and inexperienced. He fell for some young italian monkeys (idiot females) that spoke english in three words "yes" - "sory" - "no" and allowed them into the wing row. He dearly paid for his choice. For the next 15 minutes he had to strugle with the villagers trying to explain that idiots are not allowed to keep on the seats their perfumes, scarfs, shopping items and even shoe boxes and had to put them in the luggage compartment instead of chatting with the other monkeys about the shopping spee in london. I paid as well as I'd been seating next to the decelebrated exports of my country and had to listen to the nonsense all the trip back home...

Final score: Ciampino 0 - Stansted 9

For a little bit more I'd been giving Stansted a 10... I wish they could have a rebuke service specially for the Italians. I want them umiliated for as much as they don't get the proper treatment in our country they are supposed to realize of low level they are abroad. They don't clearly get the message "sir, your luggage is overweight you have to checkin separatedly", they are mostly villagers and they are in need of someone shouting at them things like: "Hey bloody motherfucker, who the hell are you thinking you're dealing whit, idiots like you? Now you go back to the checkin and shell out 30 euro. So the next time you're thinking to act like a smartass you think twice" of course in italian language and with lots of gestures.

Etichette: , , , ,